Sexuality and sexual problems from the TCM point of view
According to the study of July 2005 (FESSEL-GfK Institute), 38% of Austrians are satisfied to have sex 2 – 4 times a week, 19% with 1 time per week; 11% with less than 1 x per week.
19,000 people in Europe and the USA were surveyed for this study. What this does not take out are the circumstances in which people live, which can cause z.B. Having sex 2-4 times a week. (In other countries it is even up to 7 times a week.)
Are also consulted here people who live in long-term relationships? If people are asked who have two small children to look after in addition to their job and household? Or are we talking about couples who, in addition to domestic help, have also employed the gardener at the same time?
On the subject of sexual problems
Let’s not get cynical now, but get to the topic at hand: around actual sexual problems. So who sinks tired into bed after a 15 hour job, shopping, taking care of the household and children, and only wants to sleep more, on vacation or on Sunday is very well sexually active, can breathe a sigh of relief, here is the issue of sexual problems is not present. 😉
Also the season and the respective climate, in which we are, leaves „impression“ on our sexual life. Who thinks about „taking off“ when he is freezing to the bone…
So read about sexual problems first, their causes and tips for each, and then browse Taoist views on sexuality and love…
The sexual power – our life energy
Our life energy has its seat in the kidneys, which is divided into an active force ‚Yang‘ and a resting force ‚Yin‘. Yin and Yang strive to be in balance.
If the interaction of Yin and Yang is disturbed and the balance is no longer achieved, then energetic disturbances make themselves felt. Now these can occur either on the yin side or on the yang side. A natural decrease of life energy in the course of our life is normal, when the energy is depleted, our life is over.
However, the premature emptying of our vital energy stores is one of the causes of sexual problems. As an additional factor, the so-called stagnant Qi also plays a role.
To remedy sexual problems with Traditional Chinese Medicine, a careful diagnosis by TCM doctor and/or TCM nutritionist is necessary.
If the energetic imbalance is already more advanced, then I recommend to start a therapy of acupuncture and/or Chinese herbs with a TCM doctor. This allows the imbalance to be corrected more quickly. Diet, as with all other health problems, should be the secure foundation.
If the kidney fire, the Yang is weakened
When the fire in our kidneys is weakened, it may be noticeable in weak libido, sexual listlessness, impotence, frigidity, and/or erectile dysfunction. If you then add cold feet, possibly urinating at night and frequent fatigue and listlessness, then you should do something for your kidney yang.
The causes are manifold, but in the most common cases here are the numerous diets that many people go through again and again. In addition, however, factors such as physical but also emotional overexertion, chronic illnesses, excessive sexual activity, many births (or abortions) in a row, and occupations in cold environments and unheated rooms also come into play. Unfortunately, we (since the invention of the light bulb) also regularly sleep far too little.
What you can do
Get more sleep regularly and be sure to get gentle exercise (walking, qigong, yoga…), avoid raw and cold drinks and foods, and cook, steam, and reheat your foods before eating them. Also avoid yogurt, coffee and various designer drinks as well as fast food. This is about your life energy, it should be worth high quality foods to you.
Furthermore, please avoid rapid heating, e.g.B. Sauna or extreme sports activities. Think about the reasons of your emotional burdens and separate wherever you do not want to participate anymore. This can sometimes be hard for others, but for you it means a big plus of fresh life energy.
Special foods that rekindle your kidney energy:
Green spelt, oatmeal, legumes, walnuts, chestnuts, pumpkin seeds and oil, root vegetables, leeks, garlic, fennel, pumpkins, green beans, venison, lamb, some alcohol, ginger, cloves, cinnamon or cinnamon oil, thyme, rosemary.
Since these foods are strongly warming, be careful not to develop too much heat. If you are not sure, ask your TCM doctor or TCM nutritionist, who will also provide you with an individualized diet plan after making a detailed TCM diagnosis.
When Kidney yin, the resting pole, is weakened
Those who are haunted by sexual dreams and/or have excessive sexual desire may be deficient in Kidney yin. Additional signs may include: Night sweats, hot sternum, hot feet, dry skin, thirst in the evening, back pain that improves when lying down, some dizziness and a feeling of weakness in the lumbar region.
The causes can be:
Night work, shift work, little night rest, lots of PC work, heat illness with high fever, excessive sexual activity, blood loss (intermenstrual bleeding, heavy menstrual bleeding), medications, smoking, drugs, coffee, and bad relationships.
The difficulty here could be the excessive sexual desire. By acting out this desire, whether by means of frequent masturbation (in this case due to the frequent loss of semen in men) or by sexual intercourse, there is a further weakening of the yin, which in turn creates even more desire. A cat biting its own tail.
Nourish your Kidney Yin
Wheat, spelt, barley, soybeans, tofu, black sesame seeds, pistachios, pine nuts, walnuts, chestnuts, cauliflower, raisins, bone soups, eggs, butter, royal jelly.
Boil, steam and cook all foods, again avoid anything raw and cold but also anything that is very hot, z.B. Hot spices (see Kidney yang deficiency). Sleep a lot and do no more strenuous things in the evening – z.B. Watch exciting movies, learn…
Sexual problems – satisfaction makes the Qi flow
Sexual problems, an unsatisfying sex life, an unsatisfying relationship or work relationship really makes our Qi ‘clump up’. In technical language it is called stagnation, it does not flow properly, jams, makes pain, tension, outbursts of anger and indigestion, frustration, but also hinders the flow of kidney energy – so the sexual energy can not flow properly, the sexual fire does not ignite.
Of course, there are also causes here from the diet, which can affect each person differently. If you feel like you can explode more often, feel that everything is too much for you, have a lump in your throat and/or suffer from premenstrual problems, then changes in diet as well as lifestyle (partner, work, living situation,…) can bring improvements. Also more and regular exercise in fresh air brings relief, the Qi can flow again.
Avoid too much sour food, grilled food, as well as food from the baking tube, sugar and coffee.
A little spicy it may be sometimes, as well as easily digestible grain preparations (semolina, meal…) of barley, spelt and wheat, but also polenta and rice. Chives, garlic, celery, radish, fennel bulb and seeds. Be careful not to eat too much alcohol, eggs and meat one week before menstruation.
The Tao of love
Many people are disappointed in love and relationships, they have withdrawn and prefer a life as a single to that of a relationship. Or change partners so quickly that getting involved with the other person does not happen at all. Others are content with semi-functioning relationships. Through the Tao of Love, two people should once again succeed in allowing divine love to germinate and live between them.
A relationship according to the principles of Tao requires a lot of courage and also willingness of both partners to always look at everything that stands in the way of love. This is a very intense work on yourself. In their book „The Tao of Love“ the author couple Amir and Samira Ahler describe a Tao relationship like this: „In a Tao relationship, your partner is the mirror in which you can recognize yourself.“
From the Taoist world view it is primarily about letting go. By ceasing all effort and endeavor, by giving up one’s own ‘wanting and doing’, it becomes possible to flow in deep harmony with oneself and life. Then the gift of life can be accepted with open hands and a light heart.
The Tao of Sexuality
Many religions suppress sexual activity in favor of spiritual development, but suppressing one’s sex drive leads to frustration. Taoism solved the dilemma by putting the sexual instinct at the service of spiritual development.
Practiced Taoists give the sexual techniques of Tao direct, tangible experience of God. When true love is shared, given and received, two people experience the essence of God. To experience love is to experience God. Thereby the Taoists have given certain instructions, according to which the love play is no longer energy-consuming.
For the woman, those orgasms are considered energy-sapping that have „yangigen“ character – ie: do not build up slowly in nine stages. Each of these nine stages stimulates and fills certain organs in the body with energy. Such an orgasm energizes women, while the love play described in many guidebooks, which is supposed to culminate in a ‘joint coming‘, is considered to be energy-sapping for the woman.
Dr. med. Stephen T. Chang writes about this in his book „The Tao of Sexuality“: „These manuals are mostly written by men, who assume that women experience sexual satisfaction in the same way as men: climbing up, reaching peaks, and falling off steeply, just a little slower in the case of women. All this is not true… but there are higher levels of happiness and harmony, and they are waiting for those who practice the Tao of love art.“
Excessive ejaculation is described as energy-sapping for the man. Men are recommended to train the „ejaculation-free“ orgasm, because this allows the man to reach climax more often than with ejaculation. Exercises to learn ejaculation-free orgasm can be found in Dr. Chang’s book as well, but they require some discipline…